no tomorrow

everyday, i have these faint voices in my head that start off as such. throughout the day, they get louder and louder until, i get back into bed and all i can hear is this one voice that prevails. it simply says---wait for it---GREATER.

I want to live until I am 83, have children, that have children and then they too, shall have children. Leaving ole Tab dear with Great Grandchildren. The day will come when I will cry. Cry because of all of the unused time that I could have used calling my very own grandmother or time that will creep up the hairs on the back of my neck and remind me that i have lost it. or the time, that glances over at me as i begin to tune out every useful word any one has ever told me. better yet, the time that it takes to get from my apt. to the living room of the house that has seen so many fights between my mother and i. or the time that has become animate throughout the conversation that i am having with this computer that has taken my hands and transformed them into a pen to document, exactly how painful time has been to me. it hasn't healed in the ways that EVERYONE said its supposed to. Nor has this time guy, helped me move from one place to another. time has fooled everyone, including you and.....me. it fooled me into thinking that there tomorrow will inevitably come. and friend of mine....dear friend, it shall come, in undoubtedly WILL come. whether or not you will be apart of the history that tomorrow will bring...that my friend, is the test. the test of time.

no pun intended.